Safety Tips

Last updated September 28, 2026

Draft: these policies haven't been reviewed by a lawyer yet.

Hearts & Stripes doesn't run criminal background checks or verify members' identities. Most people are exactly who they say they are, but anyone can lie online, so stay alert.

While you're getting to know someone

• Never send money, gift cards, crypto or codes, however good the story is. Anyone who asks is running a scam. Report them.
• Keep personal details private until you trust someone: your last name, address, workplace, phone number, and anything else that could identify you.
• Stay on Hearts & Stripes until you're comfortable. Letters and messages here never reveal your email or number.
• Watch for red flags: declaring love very quickly, dodging video calls, stories that don't add up, links to other sites, or pressure to move somewhere else to chat.
• Video chat first. It's the easiest way to check someone is who their photos say they are.

When you meet in person

• Meet in a busy public place, never at your home or theirs, for the first few dates.
• Tell a friend who you're meeting, where and when, and consider sharing your location with them.
• Get yourself there and back. Don't let a new date pick you up at home.
• Stay clear-headed. Keep an eye on your drink, and know your limits.
• Leave whenever you want. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

If something's wrong

• Use Report and Block on any profile. Reports are private, and we review every one.
• If you're in danger, call 911.
• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233.
• RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673.
• Report romance scams to the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov.

Questions or concerns? Email support@heartsandstripes.us.